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HIV and Me
by Timothy Critzer for the San
Francisco Spectrum
Workplace Worry
Q: I’ve worked at the same place for five
years. When I got my diagnosis recently, I ended up taking off a
lot of days from work. After I got back from this time off, I noticed
that people were treating me kind of funny. It seems like they are
not inviting me to lunch or coming into my cubical as much as before.
Now I’m feeling really weird at work. Do you think they found
out about my HIV somehow?
A: Having been in this situation myself, I know
that it is only natural to assume that your having HIV is causing
your coworkers’ new behavior. The fact that you have HIV in
your body and in your life is probably on your mind all the time.
From this perspective, you can easily see the clues that they could
have pieced together to figure out your HIV status. However, most
people are too wrapped up in their own lives to spend a lot of effort
piecing together clues about yours. So unless you made a public
disclosure of your status, I would guess that they probably don’t
know. Besides, there are many other possible explanations for this
change in office dynamics. Perhaps during your absence, the boss
came down on everyone for spending too much time socializing or
taking long lunches. Or maybe the office workload has increased,
requiring more of everyone’s attention on work.
To help ease your mind and take away your fears, you might want
to ask a trusted coworker or perhaps your boss if they have noticed
this same change in behavior around the office. If you can be comfortable
again in your workplace, then consider staying. If not, then you
may want to make a change that supports your well being in the long
run. It’s your call.
The Grasshopper or The Ant?
Q: I just started a new job, and one of the benefits
is a 401(k) retirement plan. I decided not to put money into the
401(k) because I felt ridiculous planning for a retirement that
I’ll probably never live to see. I want to spend my money
now while I’m still here. This makes sense, doesn’t
it?
A: Well, you are the one that has to decide what
makes sense for your life. But to help you make this determination,
let’s explore some risks associated with making contributions
to a retirement plan now that you have HIV. If you do make contributions
to the plan, then you face the risk of not being able to spend these
funds during your lifetime. However, if you choose not to make contributions,
then you run the risk of living past retirement age and not having
enough money to support yourself.
Neither risk is attractive, that’s for sure. However, I find
the second scenario to be the more frightening of the two. Even
with Social Security benefits, most of us would still have a tough
time making ends meet in retirement without additional savings like
401(k)’s and IRA’s. Just ask any currently retired person
about how they struggle to do this even at today’s prices.
You can take some comfort in knowing that any money that you do
contribute to a retirement plan will never truly be lost. If you
were to die before retirement age, these funds and all the earnings
on them would go to your family or other beneficiaries that you
name. And with most retirement plans, you can either borrow against
these funds or withdraw them before retirement age. Any early withdrawal
penalties are usually waived if the funds are used to pay medical
expenses, among other things.
If you can’t afford to make any contributions right now,
don’t stress about it. Just do what is needed to take care
of yourself today, and if your financial situation improves in the
future, then consider making contributions at that point.
Timothy is the author of "HIV and Me: Firsthand
Information for Coping with HIV and AIDS." He can be reached
by email at questions@hivandme.com.
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